How I Overcome the “Buts” in my life and start living the life I wanted!

Understanding “Buts”

The struggle to truly experience the Lifestyle we want is intertwined with the excuses we create. These excuses are the “But” responses we give to ourselves when we try to make any form of success moves.

The first thing we should understanding is that “Buts” are dream killers. They maul at the very idea of progress and opportunity leaving you with only the shell of what was a dream, idea or goal.

Allowing “Buts” to become apart of your existence is creating a life filled with non-existing visions and dreams. And even more disturbing; the complete annihilation of a desire to improve one’s position in life.

This may sound harsh, however, this is the reality of our future if we are not willing to make moves towards our own dreams. It was not too long ago I found myself at the mercy of “Buts”. The grip on my life made it difficult to conjure up any desires for my future that was not filled with excuses, settling, and delusion of the present.

“Buts” create false hopes in your current position and purports average as an achievement. This leads to settling.  If you can see this picture then you are fully aware of how disastrous our lives will be if we do not make moves to acquire a desired goal or dream.

Realization and Action

What would life be like if successful people such as Bill Gate and Paul Allen,  Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg had settled for ordinary?  Well, we wouldn’t have access to one of the worlds most reliable operating system, one of the most desired smartphones and software, access one to one of the most used and recognized social media platforms and black women would not have had one of the most successful female entrepreneurs as a role model.

But even worst what do you think your life would look like if you settle for ordinary?

If the thought scares you, and it should; then you are ready to handle the rest.

Like many of you, I was in a position where I was uneasy.  I had my psychology degree and I had acquired my MBA but I was not feeling satisfied. I had a job that paid well but still, I was scared, frightened, disappointed, dissatisfied because I was not comfortable with my position.  At one point I justified the feeling with “normal or commonality”. But I soon realize that not because a situation is common or seem normal it should be accepted. Sometimes defying the norm is good because it sets you apart.

After assessing my situation a few things became clear 1) I was not happy with my life and how it was and 2) I would justify my feelings as being ungrateful.  In addition, I would try to justify staying in my state of average with fear of moving forward.

Does any of this sound familiar? I am sure it does. “But” crept in and blinded my ability to make any moves for myself.

One day, I assessed my position and decided I either do something about it or continue to allow my dreams and passion to be filled with excuses.  So I did what was common among successful people: I took the first step!.

This was the first time I knocked all my “Buts” down. One step led to another, and another and another and soon I started my blog and launched an online business.

I am not here to tell you that I have made it big because that is a work in progress.  But what I am telling you is my success story:  how I made moves towards my future and towards success; how I stood up to my own excuses.  This is to encourage someone to get out of their funk and stop making excuses. Stop giving “Buts” a space in your life when you could fill that space with your dreams.

The happiest people in the world are those who are living out their dreams

This quote was used by the successful author and coach John Maxwell in his audio book “Be All You Can Be: A Challenge to Stretch Your God-Given Potential”, published in 2015.

If you are afraid, beat fear by making the first move. If you are not sure where to start, seek advice or help from someone who has been where you are.

The truth is, we hold more than just our future in our hands. When we don’t do what we hope to do with our lives we put barriers in the way of those coming behind us: our family, children etc.

10 Behaviors “But” excuses create

From my own experience, I have identified the top 10 behaviors that I developed over the years after allowing myself to become consumed with “But” excuses. I share them with you so you can identify them in your own life and work to eradicate them.

  • Question our own intelligence and abilities.
  • Justify our situation as much as we can.
  • We say things such as “at least I am better off than the next person” to make ourselves feel better.
  • Say we have no time. If you think what I am going to say is cliche then you have not developed the right mindset “. The reality is, we all have time, 24hrs per day. If you look at how many hours are spent on social media or watching TV or chatting on the phone then you will realize you do have time.  It’s just not being used for anything important or meaningful.
  • Give up or do nothing at all.
  • Feel sorry for ourselves.  Well, throw yourself all the pity parties you want. But after the party, you will realize it’s up to you not anyone else.
  • Believe everything in life should be fast. If you don’t understand this yet then the time is now. Not everything in life will happen fast or should be fast. Us millennials are too dependent on fast that we do not realize that this is hurting us more than anything. Be Patient and keep working hard. Develop the “not giving up, can do mindset”.
  • Develop the view that someone else will make things happen for us. Well, this is not entirely wrong because if you do nothing some else will do it. The sad part is, It is not for you. Go for your dream and make it yours.
  • Feel unsure about your dreams and no belief in it. What is the purpose of wanting something but lacking the belief its possible?  Do not limit yourself or question your abilities.
  • Life is how you perceive it. If you perceive it as being bad it will be bad because your actions will create that confirmation.  If you perceive it as good then your actions will make it good. The same applies your dreams and overall success.

My question to you is: Now that you know the mayhem “Buts” create. Are you going to remain where you are? My advice is:  kick all “Buts” to the curve and you will start seeing a change in not just yourself, but your life on a whole.

Don’t be held back, make success moves now!!